Why Am I Still Lonely?

"...And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."- Matthew 28:20

Loneliness...
That's a word many persons are familiar with. It's a word many of us have cleaved on to, held hands with, and entertained. Yes that also includes Christians.

When was the last time you've been lonely? Was it when you were with your friends? With your family? In church? At school? A concert maybe? After a bad relationship? The fact of life is that we're humans and loneliness is inevitable. Our natural response to loneliness is rejection. We try to push it away, hide it, or run away from it. Loneliness creates a void within us that we will always have the urge to fill. Nobody likes to feel incomplete right?

The sad truth is that we tend to take on the wrong things as void fillers. There's a longing for completion, so we look for that " missing piece" to complete out unfinished or dismantled puzzle. We look for that missing puzzle piece in relationships, friendships, physical activity, education, wealth, marriage, crowds, etc. Usually, those pieces never fit, and we know they don't fit, yet we still try to force them into our void, knowing that one day it will just fall out or cause us a multitude of pain.

We can't forcefully fill any voids within us. We don't know the shape and size of it, so we will not ever be able to fill it with the right thing. We do, however, have a personal relationship with the one who knows the depths and measures of our emptiness, and knows exactly how to fill it. We hold hands with Jesus who promises that weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. He also promises that he will NEVER leave us nor forsake us.

Coming from a place of loneliness myself, I've searched for many things to fill the emptiness within me. I've used relationships, casual sex, friends, music, alcohol, food, sleep...so many of the wrong things. Then I learnt that the answer didn't lie within me, but the Christ who lived within me. Yes I'm still alone almost everywhere I go, but I'm learning by the grace of God to be content with being by myself. The Lord has a purpose for everything. Maybe the people around you were influencing you the wrong way, and you were developing some negative traits from them. Maybe you were too dependent on these things and/or people and God wants to teach you independence and help you find your worth. Maybe you're trying to solve a God-shaped problem with a man-made solution. Whatever it is, just know that God is doing it for your future good, and also to teach us something. Here are a few things:

1. He's using your loneliness to open your heart to love and allow you to see the hidden beauty within others.
2. He wants you to gain sight of your purpose  by taking you out of the crowds and the noise.
3. He wants you to pay more attention him, so he isolates you.

Take time to analyse your loneliness and how you're approaching it. Are you trying too hard to fill the void within you? Where are you looking for these void fillers?

" Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." - Isaiah 40: 28-31 (ESV)